What do they know of this, they tell me it will be okay... they tell me to forget... to just move on..
What is it to them...its not a memory its just some one ranting to them, because that is what some times friends are for... but what it is..
Is it the darkness when you see the door close and there is some one in the room with you...you don't know..
some one that finds you...and takes what they want from you..and than acts like it was all your fault...
What is it to them....those people that can sleep at night...what is it that makes the shot in the night not something that startles them from sleep..or the flash...in sky dose nothing to them...
Because they have never been there...in your mind looking out.. and seeing the memories..
The man you trust in decides that he can have you when ever because you are his...
And no one knows...move on they tell me...move on from the memories...when the sent of his musk still lingers some where...do not know how..its in the mall...and you stop and look every where...
The sound of a gun...makes me think of those that will never be seen again..those that had to take their life to not deal with it...the cruelty of people... daily in a place where we are fighting for peace...
Some tell me to let it out...let it go...but where will it go...It will not go to you kids, they are your world.. so you wait and let it go when all is sound.. you close my eyes and you talk about it..
you replace the memories with music...with words...and at times it works...
But I am going to one day help some one else, Just like I was helped, and am Helped because there is a strong stipulation on a soldier: you have to be strong you have to be tough....but so much inside...you to fight it back until you have time to let it out...
And when it comes, it picks its times.... you can walk down the street , breathe...and know you are home...and you are strong because you have your Family and your God. and friends that let you talk to them - and sometimes you know that because of what you have done- your Children wont have to, and you are blessed with another day. And you work, and you go on to a brighter day, And there will be memories, but never again will they happen. Lord Make this help some one... Lord let them know that tomorrow can come, and the rain will to.. but it will clean away the bad, and let room for the good because we have made it here, and we will make it forward. We will not ever be the same those who have fought wars, and even faced trauma but we will go on, Because we can and will and because with God all things are possible.
It's wonderful you have faith. I wish it wasn't so absent in me.
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