The Longing

Its not there in any one else, seems to be instilled in one only after passing through something everyone doubts in.
You can't really do that...you can't ruck for miles and miles, you can't shot a 300 range target... you can't run again...you can't do that...what says I can't... not you.. not any one.

I did it once, and as the song says...I can do it again... Do not doubt - what about the pain, what about the memories...I can sit here and let them make me... or I can prove them all wrong.

Its a longing in me that will never die...Protect to the last breath.. to do what  yells in my face you can not...you can not pay back whats been paid for you...you can not be good at this, you have nothing to give..I have mourned the death long enough...I have given it enough time to it, time and time it wants more, it would rather I give in, it would rather I remember and be afraid..but I tell it -

I will not walk unafraid...I will walk prepared for tomorrow what ever it brings, and if memory comes, than it best be ready for the song I have for it...if pain wants to come, than let it...

It will bring its memories, the times when I was other places, other lives ago. What I have now is a longing not for past, not for memories but I have a longing for change, and I have the will that I can not listen to the you can't any more... because I know that those who doubt would never.. could never stand where I have, why? because there is something here in me they can not find in side them selves and it makes them...it makes them want to hate me...and my longing to better others and my self, to have a great day even when it rains...

The memory of matching in the rain...one day I will tell  the tales...oh mom do I have to...you know at your age...I was rucking up hills in the rain, just because we could, so yes you have to unless you want some one to do it for you...and they get the credit..they get the memory..if you want that than don't do it and complain that you can't because when I think I can't I have to remember those days.. and to heck with can't ....this is what I look forward to :) giving some one the same courage I have
And let them  know they Do not have to but to let them know they can, for no other reason than to prove them selves wrong...and plus they can prove others wrong to...its a longing to give some one more than I ever have had, and why? because I can...I will and to heck with the You can't .. people-
I thank you those that say I can't because with out the voice in my mind of  you can't I would little motive to ...but now that its there. well I can,.:)