Tears.. fears... and Screams

What do they know of this, they tell me it will be okay... they tell me to forget... to just move on..
What is it to them...its not a memory its just some one ranting to them, because that is what some times friends are for... but what it is..
Is it the darkness when you see the door close and there is some one in the room with you...you don't know..
some one that finds you...and takes what they want from you..and than acts like it was all your fault...
What is it to them....those people that can sleep at night...what is it that makes the shot in the night not something that startles them from sleep..or the flash...in sky dose nothing to them...
Because they have never been there...in your mind looking out.. and seeing the memories..
The man you trust in decides that  he can have you when ever because you are his...
And no one knows...move on they tell me...move on from the memories...when the sent of his musk still lingers some where...do not know how..its in the mall...and  you stop and look every where...
The sound of a gun...makes me think of those that will never be seen again..those that had to take their life to not deal with it...the cruelty of people... daily in a place where we are fighting for peace...
Some tell me to let it out...let it go...but where will it go...It will not go to  you kids, they are your world.. so you  wait and let it go when all is sound.. you close my eyes and  you talk about it..
you  replace the memories with music...with words...and at times it works...

But I am going to one day help some one else, Just like I was helped, and am Helped  because there is a strong stipulation on a soldier: you have to be strong you have to be tough....but so much inside...you to fight it back until you have time to let it out...
And when it comes, it picks its times.... you can walk down the street , breathe...and know you are home...and you are  strong because you have your Family and your God. and friends that let you  talk to them - and sometimes you know that because of what you have done- your Children wont have to, and you are blessed with another day. And you work, and you go on to a brighter day, And there will be memories, but never again will they happen. Lord Make this help some one... Lord let them know that tomorrow can come, and  the rain will to.. but it will clean away the bad, and let room for the good because we have made it here, and we will make it  forward. We will not ever be the same those who have fought wars, and even faced trauma but we will go on, Because we can and will and because with God all things are possible.

Dont tell me you dont see it coming...

Tell me this... if you have to swear to something for a job will you not read all the parts to it... will you not comply with it til you have nothing differ from it to you.. Than tell me why this dose not apply to the ones in a house on a hill...far a way... shall we make it heard ? What it is they must do. By my father, and my Four fathers before me it shall be heard, the greed will stop. For when you can take from a child their life and call it abortion when you can take from a mother their source of income and call it cleaning house... This greed and self love of money and power have to stop. There has always been rape... do not get me wrong.. but there is a point where it is sheer murder, - This I shall re state: It is murder when you have to time frame of when a life is a life, is it a person only when it breathes the first breath out side of his/her mother? If so than when is it okay to end its life? there are times when it is logical and right to kill it before it has this chance, to breathe out side on its own, and these times have to be thought of  with the fact is it better to kill or both of them die? Is there something wrong where the child will die any way even after it  has this breath. And sometimes when you have had to make this choice talking about it only brings it back, and this is the pain you have to think about in making this choice, But when you hand this choice over to someone else to make - for you ( this is the point i wanted to make..) and than think they will take your needs and your life in to consideration, its a whole other choice because they have no good or bad out come...its more money Vs. less money. It's not about life with them when they have taken this choice from you, made their own rules to it. and read people read there is no cut of term to the bill that was past... its murder...yes when a woman  has a choice even  she can have up to the last term but now they have said its okay, and they can enforce it.(in case you don't know:.. if you do not know there are 3 of them 8 months...42 weeks...)at most it because its not a person yet, in some understandings, but it can live out side the body sooner than that... think 5mns premature  was the soonest I have heard so far of a baby living... Do not tell me its not a human because its a growth of cells it is a part of the mother for ever even after birth there is a bond that can not be broken- and sometimes having to chose to kill this growth, person how ever you believe to see it, it is the largest choice a woman will make because this bond will not die, even through death, there are studies that go on showing the mother will fell like it is there even when its long gone, and that at times  even her mind will play tricks on here when its supposed to be born, and she will wonder  at times, but this is a price she must consider, it should not be left to the hands of Government who has no personal relationship to the person doing this. many do not understand this. because the Government- will do what is more cost effective, and if given the power( which we pretty much just did.they will.)  is not the person that will live with this choice, who will walk daily in  the fact they had to  or did. - we all as humans started this way.as a group of cells in a woman, many of us may or may not know and she also made a choice, to have us... and if your mother would have thought about it what it would have been like - or  said dang i cant take on this task right now... where would half the people be where would we be....i tell you... in the dark...why? because half the great minds where going to be aborted.. but it was to much of both a cost and if left in the hands of a government they will be with out a second thought to it. why should they think twice about it.. do they when they go to war? no because they do not have to live through their judgements  they  let everyone else do that for them The government dose not care what the  risk is to a women, a country if they do that- because unless its a dollar sign why should they?  to them to do it. now they are killing great minds daily... you tell  Einstein that he was going to be aborted..because his mother didnt have the money or the support... but she did not do it and there are tons of woman out there that do it  also for that reason there is little support for them, and some states are cutting back on this, but more are adding to the funding of abortion why? because less cost, a sudden bill vs the prolonged  drag on the system. and there are tons of single mothers out there that face this choice- and that once they fell the heart beat and fell the kick ...know and they never  that they ever thought like this and they give up things because they wont take this route, even thought it may be easier on them- and that  is what power we just gave them...- the Government. your mother may never  tell you...its hard but what happens if its rape. some still go through with having the child and some use it as a means to not have to deal and sometimes there is no choice because some times men do not leave their prey whole enough to live a life and have a life in side of them...sometimes life has to weight out the odds of survival - and yes i to understand this..  fact, how can some one beaten to death carry a child, and have it be whole and have a chance to live when the mothers own body can not live, and at that time it becomes more of a  virus to the body than a life, because it is feeding off of everything in her  to live, and she can't even manage that...so they have to kill the virus..that was once a life, but its taken more from the mother, than she has to give, and  at these times the body will abort it itself - or need help to do so.....But I am not talking about those times here when you are raped or claim rape.. and just dont want to deal with the fact - so yes there are those times you can not literally take having a child in those conditions and if this is the case i am not telling you that you should, the mind plays games with you during pregnancy and your hormones mess you  up even more so if you have to for your own life than  this is a  time you have to weight out the survival theory again...if you go through with  the birth will you hate your self so much...and think so bad that you   just delivered   another possible rapist to the world...and want to end your own life..than you may have to...there are  choices you have to consider but some just dont want the truth known..  its rape i have been there-  i did not get pregnant but i was there, i do not now if i would have taken the child.. if one happened and maybe given them up if i didn't want the reminder, but how could i if something so horrid can create a life , but this is me-  and why tell that life its nothing because how it was there, God knows how it came, and one day so will they but to tell the person you are  not worth my time because your father took what was not his to take- is like telling them  they are already dead. live life and tell the government we can think on our own - and do not give them this power, to think for us any more, yes  we have  the option as woman and  i do not mean to come out as evil with the thought this option if needed should be cast out, its a survival but it is also selfish at times, do not tell me its not... if its not needed to happen, there are other ways to deal with this,- But tell them we can make our own choice on this.  we do not need your  Birth Rationing...because if they have this power over rather or not you can abort a child and when.. than what is next... that is what will be next...look at other countries that have massive debut what happens? we cant afford the people  in this class...say lowest -tell them they can only have this many children...it wont happen  here. so many think but ..yeah they said that 20 years ago about legal abortion and legal drugs... and now look at it...Don't say never- stop it if you dont want them to rule you. telling you when you can  have children and if you have the right to survive when your child wont, or if they do let you chose what happens if they  do something to where you can't ever chose again.. with out you saying  so...they will have this power if you let them. because we are failing to see what is going on, its not human life that is important unless it comes with dollar signs ... they only see profit and lose...and if its a lose now than it will become a profit later because its no longer a cost...What is the cost...to them if we abort ourselves...or if they begin to abort the ones that cost to much... its a gain and a loss.. its running it self like a company, not a Government. ..

Conversation with the Truth:

Brian Deines

for just a moment forget republican and democrat and realize this: our politicians have literally created a near nightmare scenario in our government.......it's an irresponsibility that's rampant in our political circles

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    Cathy Funderburg But they would have to admit 2 things, They haven't worked together for the common people in years, and that other sharp pin prick that hurts to say....I was wrong and possibly bribed, bought out to that idea..this will not happen until said American people re read the Constitution and learn oh wait you mean that we can rise up and ellect a new Goverment that is Designed for us by us, and better yet we can re do everything as it is because our four fathers put that small clause in there so that this mass BS never happened again- One mass power saying what we can an can not do. But this will not happen because that means that the People have to think and reason on their own and find out what is best for them, we have become lazy and having things done for us. Why would we change it ? Why dose the dog return to the master that beats it.. it dose not know any other. We have to be the change, They will not be the change. We have to use our freedom or to hell with that freedom, so many died for so we can sit on out buts and let the world turn to crap, why? Because they had what few Americians have, that have loyalty and honor and will die for others, not because they have to but because the life of many is greater than the life of one. Now either we can cry that they are not doing their Job or we can tell them DO IT OR LOSE IT- You work for us. You are the house, and Goverment is not made for one man, it is made for us all. So do the will of the people or you will hear the will of the people..SPEAK DANG IT>
    
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    Cathy Funderburg OH if you did not want to read all that... sorry... kinda yeah I am not really, I am thinking they work for the American people so either they work or they can be like so many of us, that have lost jobs, and other things because they believe it is fair. - Show them fair show them the part in the Constutuion they swore to that they are not working just to work, they are working for the ideals and the liberties of the People and at any time we deem that this is not so, we have the right and the God given freedom to change this. Maybe they miss this point...

    Found you the answer :) and i blog it to :) -its from the main statement that breaks us from Brittan- which would be this:
    'That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. ' where u ask? The Declaration of Independence so there is a short answer :) and what do we do with it...is the puzzle...do we really use it or...

    The Preamble to The Bill of Rights

    "Congress of the United States
    begun and held at the City of New-York, on
    Wednesday the fourth of March, one thousand seven hundred and eighty nine.
    

    THE Conventions of a number of the States, having at the time of their adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added: And as extending the ground of public confidence in the Government, will best ensure the beneficent ends of its institution.

    RESOLVED by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America, in Congress assembled, two thirds of both Houses concurring, that the following Articles be proposed to the Legislatures of the several States, as amendments to the Constitution of the United States, all, or any of which Articles, when ratified by three fourths of the said Legislatures, to be valid to all intents and purposes, as part of the said Constitution; viz.
    ARTICLES in addition to, and Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, proposed by Congress, and ratified by the Legislatures of the several States, pursuant to the fifth Article of the original Constitution."sited from  following:
    (thanks to : http://archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights_transcript.html)
    Signed in to
    

    IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776. The Declaration of Independence

    The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
    When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient ceauses; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustome-'(Thanks to :  http://archives.gov/exhibits/charters/declaration_transcript.html)
    So tell me than why do we not do as our four fathers advise us and recreate that which is meant to serve the people not them selves.??

    What do we do with it- let the country so many died for turn to this or do we  do what our four fathers did.. and say heck with you, we are the people and you  should be for us...or you shall be against us...

    There is this we can also do...we can sit and think oh dang than  I will have to do something, and it wont be done for me...when heck I can do it better, because I have gone to the bottom of the barrel and seen there is no apple...there is nothing in the store house because some one  thought they needed its in the summer... but its winter now...and we have not what we need so do we look to the hand that took it  or do we smack the hand and say fend for your own for you have taken what is not yours to take because you  thought it  was free. Well its not.. PAY UP. FIX IT OR  GET.. as a great friend says.. you either add to the party or get the heck to steppin'...because its not going to end because you want it to. We will not back down, and we will not be still. Why? Because there are 6 Billion of us... and 60 of you...um....out numbered I do think... 

Memories

Tear at my mind.
They try and cripple me,with what was..
What happened... the looking over my shoulder, thinking it again, the sudden fear, that  its not over...
That I have to do it again....That some where  there is a memory calling to me, You have to recall..
Fell the fear...taste the blood, fell the pain...hear the screams....they are yours...
No one heard them, not one answered...no one saved you from this memory...
You have to recall...you have to hear...you have to see...to know...its only a memory..
To not recoil at the shot, to not jump at the flash, to not look over your shoulder at the man, and fear..
You have to remember you have to recall..so you never have this memory be real again...

His Saved All

They hated him after he gave all for them...they slapped him with thorns ... they laughed at him..they called him king as a joke..
But it is no joke - we that follow him with loyalty and truth, like the ones that have bleed and died for this land to be free.. they look at us they slap lables on us...crazy...killer...freak...but there is one that knows how it hurts... and he is forever there with us.
As we where there when a call came, we scream out at night in memories that can never leave, and he answers...rest here my child..he will not for sake us like the place we have served has turned against us, this is what you need take this it will make it better..and their hands are empty, but he holds up all we ever need.
He holds on to us when the world wants us to disapre like we never where...
Never helped them because now they have to help us, with the memories , with the pain...but God will never leave us, he is loyal even to death. Thank you.Father.

The Longing

Its not there in any one else, seems to be instilled in one only after passing through something everyone doubts in.
You can't really do that...you can't ruck for miles and miles, you can't shot a 300 range target... you can't run again...you can't do that...what says I can't... not you.. not any one.

I did it once, and as the song says...I can do it again... Do not doubt - what about the pain, what about the memories...I can sit here and let them make me... or I can prove them all wrong.

Its a longing in me that will never die...Protect to the last breath.. to do what  yells in my face you can not...you can not pay back whats been paid for you...you can not be good at this, you have nothing to give..I have mourned the death long enough...I have given it enough time to it, time and time it wants more, it would rather I give in, it would rather I remember and be afraid..but I tell it -

I will not walk unafraid...I will walk prepared for tomorrow what ever it brings, and if memory comes, than it best be ready for the song I have for it...if pain wants to come, than let it...

It will bring its memories, the times when I was other places, other lives ago. What I have now is a longing not for past, not for memories but I have a longing for change, and I have the will that I can not listen to the you can't any more... because I know that those who doubt would never.. could never stand where I have, why? because there is something here in me they can not find in side them selves and it makes them...it makes them want to hate me...and my longing to better others and my self, to have a great day even when it rains...

The memory of matching in the rain...one day I will tell  the tales...oh mom do I have to...you know at your age...I was rucking up hills in the rain, just because we could, so yes you have to unless you want some one to do it for you...and they get the credit..they get the memory..if you want that than don't do it and complain that you can't because when I think I can't I have to remember those days.. and to heck with can't ....this is what I look forward to :) giving some one the same courage I have
And let them  know they Do not have to but to let them know they can, for no other reason than to prove them selves wrong...and plus they can prove others wrong to...its a longing to give some one more than I ever have had, and why? because I can...I will and to heck with the You can't .. people-
I thank you those that say I can't because with out the voice in my mind of  you can't I would little motive to ...but now that its there. well I can,.:)

http://youtu.be/WWUQ_N_vHc0